Keep your eyes open for the moment when hope arrives.

That's what the Preacher said. Even with eyes wide open, it's sometimes difficult to discern.

But I'm of the opinion it's all in your perspective. Insert joke about those goofy ATTITUDE posters here. It's true, though. My attitude improves in direct proportion to my vegetable planting.

Jackson's third birthday, can you believe it…?

It's been no bed of roses – well, wait, actually, it has. Lovely to look at, heavenly smell, but messy and chaotic at times, and, if you ain't careful, you can get badly scratched. Develop a tough skin; keep first aid stuff handy; look before you leap; and use general common sense. Other than that, leave it in God's hands. Focus on doing what you must, not overwhelming yourself, and remembering to savor it all.

Miracle Boy gets attention everywhere he goes. It's the hair. And the way he goes and goes and goes.

Three years have gone by in frequent information overload. Some highlights and milestones:

2006, Christmas: Jackson at home, the best Christmas present ever. His Great-grandma Kay comes from FL and holds him every minute she can.

2007: Many doctor visits; synagis shots at $2300 a pop. Jackson's eyes and brain are checking out fine.

Tommy went to magnet school; Harrison and Chandler go to Holy Cross.

Dana's doing everything for everyone. She has a dream that her Dad rises out of Jackson's head in his crib and then is standing next to our bed. He puts his hand on her head and tells her everything is going to be okay.

Jeff goes for Masters degree at Troy, knowing that career ambition is a beast with sharp teeth which are liable to bite in any direction.

2008: Jackson with the speech therapist:

"Bath. Jackson: say bath." Jackson runs in the bathroom and takes off his shirt.

Later, "…snack. Jackson, snack…?" He runs in the pantry and brings her a bag of chips.

"Okay, he knows words, and he'll talk when he's ready…!"





My favorite from this period was the night he said "Oh-de-oh-de-oh-de-OH!" Think Cab Calloway.

Dana nearly loses her mind with a houseful of kids all summer. Jeff nearly loses his mind, but finishes degree (so far, that and $4 will get you a tall mocha java).

2009: Jackson runs and runs some more. He loves outside. He's prone to yank all his clothes off from time to time. He loves water, but spends more time at the pool running from place to place. I don't take a camera to the pool, but will remember till my last breath the sight of him in the fountain, splashing, spraying diamonds into the clear blue sky.

Dana starts back teaching preschool, relieved to go to work.

Writing's been hard, and as many times as I've wanted to, I'm too sleepy; too angry; too depressed to do it justice. It's felt like my best efforts and energy were sucked out of me, or I gave it obsessively, for work work and more work. And why? The pay's just the same.

"…maybe you couldn't enjoy your life and put it into the bank, too." Neighbor Rosicky, Willa Cather

The workplace has frequently been a funhouse run by madmen with no sense of humor; oh, the stories I could tell… but if the Feds want more, they know where to find me.

I've had the easy part; Dana's the one with the real burden.

If only. Everyone says that sometime in life. There are moments when you literally hate your life, and wonder what if. We do the best we can with what we know at the moment. But we don't cut ourselves any slack at these low moments that come further on up the road.

Only 2 things you can do with the past: live with it, and learn from it. I think grief is like a boulder, and sometimes we can only stand there waiting, watching, willing it to wear down from the elements. It does seem to take forever and ever for it to change even the slightest amount, while events rocket past, around, over and through us.

Dana was a single widow with Harrison, and Chandler on the way, in summer 2001. Her dad and mom offered to help her move back home, numerous times. Once a sweet little old lady at church talked with her and said, "God picks these flowers for a reason." She stayed in Montgomery. Chandler was born 5 weeks premature, and came home 9/10/01, the day before "the day that changed everything."

Dana's dad, Rev. Marcus Jackson Chandler, was one of the best men God ever put on this earth. On top of that, he was Dana's daddy and her foundation for everything that was good and true and righteous in this world. Everyone who came to comfort him, while he was bedridden for 4 years, came away comforted.

He was hospitalized in 2003. His lungs were filling up; he couldn't talk. Trying to comfort him, one of his siblings tried to help him, telling him to relax, and he didn't have to fight so hard, and Marcus pointed at Dana. He was holding on for her.

He recovered.

He married us, from his bed at home, in 2004. I promised him I would take as much care of her as she would let me.

The last time he fell ill, January 2005, everyone feared this was the last time, at last. It was.

I never heard Marcus speak again. I heard that he did have moments of alertness when he tried to speak, and that he actually did see his brother Edward (who's also a pastor), look right at him, and say just one word: "Pray."

If you were laboring to breathe, knowing any one might very well be your last breath, what one word would you say…?

We get to see a miracle, living and breathing and playing, every day.

The great African guitarist, Ali Farka Touré, once said the spirits must have love for a person to send him the music, and that he was as transported as the listener, completely content; and that "one cannot always feel that way, but wait just a little while, and one will get that feeling back."

For everyone who's supported, encouraged, prayed for, fed, or generally taken an interest in us, bless you and thank you. I hope this little update reflects some of that love back to you.

Summer fun.

Chandler, hearing some soccer teammates were on the swim team: "Do they wear thongs?"

Not thongs, Speedos. She and Harrison started swim practice this week. Funny stuff.

Hurricane season is upon us. Glad they're not predicting a nice quiet storm season; maybe we'll make it through without another onslaught. Cool tool here.

More fun with maps here.

Bradley Byrne has run off to run for Gov. Some of us in the 2 year college orbit considered starting a pool on departure date, I coulda won some money. Roy Moore wants the spotlight back, too. Wonder if they'll have another Ten Commandments Rolling Thunder Circus outside the Supreme Court...?

Should be interesting times in the next 12 months.

I shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die.

Not me, that other Jeff. The one using my name and DOB, apparently.

June, 2008: Background checks at work. SSN optional; sure, use mine, why not? Guess what, a guy with my DOB and name in FL has a drug conviction. Not me, though.

July, 2008: Go to renew my driver's license, and after a Mad TV skit's worth of runaround, find out there's a hold because S. Carolina law enforcement shows a J. Jones with a pending felony. No SSN on file, though. Thanks guys!

Now: I have a chance to teach some courses online with my spiffy new Masters degree except – my alleged sins have overtaken me again. S. Carolina at least warns you that the basic online search for 25 non-refundable dollars won't help with a common name. All ya get is first initial. How many J Jones listings are in your local phone book…? So, one more trip to the post office, another money order, more fingerprints, more paperwork.

Cue the line from The Outlaw Josey Wales: "Doin' right ain't got no end."

You know you’re a parent when:

You search and eventually find the thermometer. On your daughter's dresser. Next to a couple of Barbies in various states of undress and baldness from bad haircuts; a half-eaten coconut; an empty box of Band-Aids (they make great stickers!); 14 hairbrushes; an open box of Animal Crackers; whiteboard markers; and a soccer whistle.

Time passages.

And other song-related phrases. Yep, we had a snow on March 1st, '09. Maybe I can break off an hour to put up that video this month.

Between the '08 and '09 snows, one or two things happened:

Jackson continues to be a miracle boy
But he's wearing his mama out as 3 approaches

Chandler sang her first solo in a play
The sweetest cow music you ever heard

Harrison's dominating the family Guitar Hero duels
Sits down to play, resents being asked "what, are ya old?!?"

Tommy's settled into magnet school
Wonders why all this work doesn't include salary, coffee bar, scones

Dana looks ahead to summer
Longs for sight of camp bus pulling away

Jeff finished Masters program
Says "Aks me anythang, I got degree!"

I started this with the aim of remembering the moments that matter, smallest to largest. Life has skipped that creeping by in its petty pace Shakespeare thing -- it's been chrome-wheeled fuel-injected steppin' out over the line for the past 18 months or so. My school's done; the work scandals are behind us. Time to savor a bit and remember what all the work is really for.



Chandler at Let's Pretend Hospital, where she played mama and hit her "husband" in the head with her purse because he didn't have $35,000 for the bill

Oh, yeah, and it snowed!

Whatever will be, will be.

Well... yes and no. There's such a thing as coincidence. But there are very few pure accidents. Things happen for a reason. We don't always see it at the moment, or maybe ever. But there's always a cause and an effect. Ever see just one ripple on a pond...?

January 1983: I was a naive freshman at the University of Alabama. One quarter at Troy was enough for me; nothing wrong with the place, just with me. So I transferred. Was still trying to find my way around. I had friends from Tallassee around to help, too.

Monday, Wednesday, and Friday was English, 9 am. Dr. Beidler looked and acted like John Astin's brother; told great stories about his time in Vietnam to illustrate how language changed over time. "'Search and destroy' became 'search and (wink wink) clear'..." Our book was "Writing is an Unnatural Act." Damn straight.

Waiting for class and wanting to see the Crimson White. They couldn't be found today. Must be running late. Saw a couple guys with a stack of papers near the door; but it was time for class. Later, no papers. Where'd they all go...? I knew the editor, maybe I'd ask her.

Later we found that 11,000 or so papers were printed, but only a few ever got out. Wonder what the front page story was that day?

Big expose on the Machine (which, of course, does not exist). Later it came out that SGA independent candidate John Bolus' office had been wiretapped, allegedly by the Machine (w,oc,dne). Word later got out that two students were questioned by the FBI, but no charges ever filed. Federal crime, a felony committed, over a student government election...? Y'all crazy, I thought.

But why disappear all the newspapers...? Who cares that much about something that's tomorrow's bird cage liner? Powerful people with petty vendettas and/or short fuses...?

Don't know what reminded me of these old memories. Sometimes a song, a scent, the seasonal changes will bring it on, and it's almost like you're there. It just seems like I've seen this movie before, maybe more than once.

History: Still Rhymin', After All These Years.

Wow, cool.

Office 2007 lets you do this bloggy thing right from Word. A point for Bill. And you know I despise Word, with a burning hatred white-hot as a thousand suns.

Many things happening all at once. Nearing the end of another term in the Master's program (3 to go!). There will be much rejoicing in October, it is hoped. Kaizen: there are 2 kinds of people, those who get things done, and those who try and offer excuses.

Milton's book is nearly done. Can't wait for my autographed copy.

My old friend Jill Simpson will be on 60 Minutes Sunday night. Skip the Oscars and see what went on with Don Siegelman, and get a hint of what's still unfolding today in AL.